Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
