He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh god it's open bar.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
