Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's always time for handjobs
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm getting married
To pizza
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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