just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
