I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
