I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
this is an emotional support booty call
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
