I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
