I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize