Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My liver just had a heart attack.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
