Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
