I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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