You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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