god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
