why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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