So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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