One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize