You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize