My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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