I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
