He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
