The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
