They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
