yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
