you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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