I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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