We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
