did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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