no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
there's paper in my vomit.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How external is "for external use only"?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
