i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
