i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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