Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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