I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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