Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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