There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
