i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize