so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
