she is the kim kardashian of front butts
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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