i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
