I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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