And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
