If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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