the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
