I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
