Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
