i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
