If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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