Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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