this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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