didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
