Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
