I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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