My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Drunk is not a location!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize