Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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