Christians are straight up FREAKS
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
