I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
