We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
