oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
