I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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