Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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