Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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