pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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