Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
