We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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