Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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