quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
