no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
