If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
