Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
