I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
