He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
