your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
