dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
