She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
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The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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