I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
